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"The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
(2002)
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[Sheen and Carl are playing a board game]
Sheen:
Seven. Your llama falls into a mud pit.
Carl:
Sheen! There are no mud pits in "Llama's Day Out".
Sheen:
Maybe *that* explains why I'm having no fun.
[Jimmy is struck by lightning over the phone]
Carl:
Jimmy! Are you okay? If you can hear me, give me the answers to 5a through 11c. You know, just so I know you're OK.
Nick:
We have to what?
Sheen:
You heard him. We have to make our teacher toss the lunch monkey. We need a bucket, an umbrella, and whatever they were serving for lunch in the cafeteria last Thursday.
Jimmy:
Bring my screwdriver and my special CD of town-saving music.
Crowd:
(In unison) You were right and we were wrong.
Jimmy:
Thanks. A healthy skepticism is the sign of... Say it again.
Crowd:
(In unison) You were right and we were wrong.
Jimmy:
Now in French.
[Crowd repeats in French]
Jimmy:
Now in Chinese.
[Crowd mutters in confusion]
Jimmy:
We found the lost tomb.
Cindy:
Shouldn't we call National Geographic or Harvard?
Libby:
Or Harrison Ford?
Nick:
Get out of my way, Shine.
Sheen:
SHEEN.
Carl:
We saw a ghost, and it has Jimmy!
Cindy:
Good. It can keep him.
Sheen:
You really have some anger issues, don't you?
Hugh:
Watch me shot-put this potato.
Judy:
Oh, ooh, be careful!
[Hugh throws the potato out the window]
Man:
Ow! My eye!
Cindy:
So, do we have to refer to you as Queen Libby?
Libby:
No. "Your mighty fine royal fabulousness" will do.
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[Cindy watches Jimmy and Betty dance]
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Cindy:
I wouldn't dance with Nerdtron if he was the last boy on earth.
Sheen:
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Cindy:
*Methinks* you better button your yap before I button it for you!
[a button appears on Sheen's mouth]
Cindy:
You just can't accept the fact that my plan is better than yours.
Jimmy:
Is not!
Cindy:
Is so!
Jimmy:
Is not!
Cindy:
Is so
Carl:
[screaming] STOP IT! STOP IT! CAN'T YOU SEE THIS CONSTANT FIGHTING IS TEARING US ALL APART?
[pause]
Sheen:
[laughing] That was cool, Carl. I really believed you for a second.
[Carl and Sheen see Prof. Calamitous enter the Candy Bar]
Carl:
Sheen. It's the perp!
Sheen:
Hey, yeah. You wrestle him to the ground and cuff him, and I'll watch.
Carl:
Why do you get to watch?
Calamitous:
May I use your...
Sam Melnick:
Telephone? Teeth whitening kit? Restroom?
Calamitous:
Restroom!
Sam Melnick:
No. It's for paying customers only.
Calamitous:
All right. I'll have a chocolate...
Sam Melnick:
Sundae? Rumball? Milkshake?
[Jimmy and Officer Tubbs enter]
Jimmy:
Officer Tubbs, man that bathroom.
Officer Tubbs:
Thanks. Don't mind if I do.
[Repeated line]
Jimmy:
Think. THINK.
[the inside of Jimmy's brain is shown]
Jimmy:
Brain blast!
[Jimmy and Cindy have switched bodies and are taking a pop quiz]
Cindy:
The ant is a member of the vegetable family
Jimmy:
Name the planets: Farkle, Gubgub...
[Later]
Miss Fowl:
I would like an explanation for the two abominable grades
Cindy:
There's a perfect explanation. I, Jimmy Neutron, am a gabble-headed dipstick.
Jimmy:
But not as big a dipstick as you are, Miss Fowl. And if I don't get a month's worth of detentions for this, you're even dumber than you look.
Cindy:
Well, how many detentions is *this* worth, Miss Foul-breath?
[Cindy kicks papers on Miss Fowl's desk]
[Hugh is playing with Brobot]
Hugh:
I got your nose. (It comes off) I really do... Here's 5 bucks.
[Jimmy feeds the Willie Loman 3000 too much book gum]
Willy Loman 3000:
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Once upon a time... It was the best of times, It was the worst of times... Elementary, my dear Watson... Hop on Pop... You're a sor-sor-sor-sorcerer, Harry... Danger, Jimmy Neutron... Dangerdangerdangerdangerdangerdanger...
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[shuts down]
[Jimmy and Cindy go to Retroland]
Jimmy:
I am not having fun.
Cindy:
Neither am I, Nerdtron.
Jimmy:
Want some gum?
Cindy:
NO!
[Thomas Edison appears in Jimmy's Time Pincher]
Edison:
That Henry Ford is such a knucklehead... Where am I? Who took my iced tea?
Jimmy:
Get ready for the time pincher's maiden voyage.
Sheen:
You're bringing a girl with us?
Cindy:
Your sick patch dissolved into my skin, Nerdtron!
Sheen:
Jimmy, your patch pulled a Houdini.
Libby:
Cure me, or suffer the consequences.
Carl:
I don't want to be a bubble boy!
Sheen:
Poem? I thought we had to do an interpretive dance!
Carl:
No, that's Thursday.
Terry Finster:
Is that pie plate talking to me?
Class:
[singing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"] Oh, Jimmy Neutron, you are great/ and so beyond compare-o./ The rest of us aren't even fit/ to wash your underwear-o.
Jimmy:
Sometimes it's a burden to be such a genius.
Sheen:
I know what you mean. That's why I decided early on to sabotage my highly scientific brain with cartoons and sugar.
[Jimmy has made himself stupid]
Jimmy:
You guys wanna see My loopy dance? I'm loopy, I'm loopy, I'm loopy loopy loopy.
Carl:
Normal Jimmy seems kinda stupid.
Sheen:
Yeah, he's really messed up. I like him!
Carl:
Me too! Let's keep him.
Willy Loman 3000:
Hey-hey-hey, y-you look like a couple of intelligent young men.
Carl:
Na-hah, it's just the glasses.
[watching Jimmy's TV show]
Hugh:
Look at our little Jimbo. The camera loves him.
[things go wrong on Jimmy's show]
Hugh:
My mistake. The camera only likes him as a friend.
Jimmy:
I present to you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld.
Carl:
A llama?
Jimmy:
No.
Carl:
A baby llama?
Jimmy:
No.
Carl:
A baby llama with a hat?
Jimmy:
No!
Cindy:
An invention of yours that actually works?
Jimmy:
No... I mean, yes!
Nanobot #2:
I want to do it!
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Nanobot #1
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:
It's the captian's job.
Nanobot #2:
Sometimes the stewardess gets to talk.
Nanobot #1:
Get me some tea and a pillow and we'll discuss it.
[Cindy and Jimmy have swapped bodies]
Nick:
[to Jimmy] So, do you want to go to the concert, Cindy?
Jimmy:
I wouldn't go with you if you were the last boy on Earth. That's how stuck-up I am.
Cindy:
She doesn't mean that!
Carl:
Today, I found something that has never been seen before in the history of the world... a half-eaten Krunchy Kreme jelly donut!
[all gasp]
Sheen:
But they're 100% irresistible! No-one cannot finish one!
Miss Fowl:
I'm afraid I know someone who could. An old student of mine, Finbarr Calamitous. He was a brilliant boy but he could never finish anything, not even sentences, that's why I failed him. And he was bad.
Nick:
Like me?
Miss Fowl:
No, you're bad in the new sense, meaning good. Finbarr was bad in the old sense. He disappeared one day after not finishing his lunch. I wonder why he has returned... Carl!
[Carl has eaten the rest of the donut]
Carl:
What? I don't know!
[In Carl's dream]
Jimmy:
I have to prove to Carl he's dreaming.
Cindy:
I washed your brain, but I had trouble getting the think stains out.
[Jimmy kisses Cindy]
Carl:
Jimmy kissing Cindy? I must be dreaming.
[later, out of the dream]
Cindy:
Not even in HIS dreams, Neutron!
[Cindy slaps Jimmy]
Jimmy:
I give you the Brain Drain The same dumbing down technology used by top radio personalities.
Sheen:
Jimmy, I really have to go to the bathroom! All I see is sand, and I'm not a cat.
Jimmy:
We gotta stop them before they reach Mount Incredibly Unstable! It's incredibly unstable!
Sheen:
Where do they get this stuff?
Hugh:
[On parenting] I find that it helps to set limits, like, "No time travel on school nights", or, "No teleporting your mother".
Sheen:
Hey guys! I think I found a bathroom! It smells like a bathroom!
[Holds nose]
Sheen:
I wish I had one of those deodorizers you hang in the car for the rear-view mirror.
Carl:
[Takes out deodorizers] Lemon or strawberry?
Sheen:
Thanks Carl.Hey! How come you carry those around with you?
Carl:
'Cause.
Grandma Neutron:
And forget Preparation H. I've made it all the way to Preparation X.
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Nick
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:
[sees Jimmy dressed like Sherlock Holmes] Nice duds, dude. You lose a bet?
Jimmy:
[Sheen, Cindy, and Carl are sampling Jimmy's Book Gum]
Sheen:
Tastes fishy. Call me Ishmael. Starbuck, it's the great white whale. I'll get you, Moby Dick!
Cindy:
Give me that. Tastes like fried chicken.
[southern accent]
Cindy:
Oh, Ashley. Oh, Rhett. I don't know nothing about birthin' no baby.
Carl:
Mmm, William Shakespeare.
Jimmy:
That might be a little strong for you, Carl.
Carl:
[English accent] But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East and Juliet is the sun. See how she rests her cheek upon her hand? Oh, were I a glove upon that hands, that I may touch that cheek.
[Sheen nervously takes a step away from Carl]
[repeated line]
Sheen:
Aha! I don't get it.
Sheen:
Remember, this game is for mature players only, so act even more maturer than we usuallly do. I'll try to grow a mustache.
Jimmy:
My dad's over I'll act like him.
[approaches counter and imitates Hugh]
Jimmy:
Well, howdy there, clerky-clerkotron.
Clerk:
Beat it. This game is for mature players only due to violence, exaggerated mayhem, and old-lady kicking.
Sheen:
THAT'S NOT FAIR! I demand my constipational rights!
[the boys are thrown out of the store]
Sheen:
If I win this election, you can be my first lady.
Libby:
Get a life.
[Cindy and Libby are having a yard sale]
Cindy:
What's the take?
Libby:
We're about $23 away from sharing an enchila-burrito from Taco Horn.
Jimmy:
These walls are lined with 3 feet of lead. No one's voice could possibly...
Sheen:
[from outside] JIMMY! LET ME IN!
[Hugh and Jimmy leave on a camping trip]
Judy:
Alone at last. Come on, Goddard, let's break out the cookie dough and watch gladiator movies.
Sheen:
Can I say it, Jimmy?
Jimmy:
Sure, go ahead.
Sheen:
Atomic Batteries to power, turbines to speed, and kick it, baby!
Jimmy:
Say it right.
Sheen:
Lift off.
Jimmy:
Much better.
Miss Fowl:
Jimmy and Cindy will work together on their projects.
[everyone gasps as thunder rumbles]
Miss Fowl:
Wow, that new school bell is a real waker-upper.
Hugh:
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I just love our nine billion channel alien cable line-up!
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Grandma Neutron:
And after they finished cleaning out my ears, there was enough wax to open a candle shop. And then they found this hair that they think could go straight to my foot.
[pulls ear and lifts foot]
Jet Fusion:
So, Beautiful, what's a beautiful girl like you doing with an evil dirtbag like Professor Calamitous?
Beautiful Gorgeous:
He's my father.
Jet Fusion:
[grunts in frustration] D'oh!
Commander Baker:
This is a dangerous mission. You may not come back alive.
Jimmy:
Can I get out of school?
Jimmy:
I love you, but I'm supposed to hate you.
Cindy:
What? Neutron, you are so dead!
Sheen:
You know what they say. Lies are just friends you haven't met.
Cindy:
[In Jimmy's body] Oh,yeah like I would really want to invent a tiolet in a briefcase!
Jimmy:
[In Cindy's body] Hey,that could have been an excellent relief to the traveling business man!
Military Staff:
Sir, we have reports of a 50-foot woman downtown!
Military General:
Thanks, but I'm looking for someone shorter, who enjoys walks in the park...
Military Staff:
[interrupting] She's not looking for a date, sir. She's terrorizing the town!
Military General:
Is there a difference? Okay, then, call in the military!
Military Staff:
We are the military, sir.
Military General:
Whoa, we got here fast!
Carl:
Not that fresh air and ticks in your sleeping bag isn't fun, but why do we have to go camping with you, Jimmy?
Jimmy:
Because if you don't, I'll be forced to publish these high-definition photos of you two playing with Pomono Beach Debbie Dolls.
Sheen:
Pomono Beach Debbie is an action figure. She posesses special powers that can defeat any adversary... except Ultra Lord, of course.
Carl:
I like the pretty bathing suits.
Giggles the Clown:
[to Jimmy] Can you teach me to get my hair in that ridiculous shape?
Sheen:
This year's play is "Macbeth in Space". What's that about?
Carl:
Some guy with a girl's last name.
Ike:
Principal Willoughby said it was written by a guy named William Shakespeare.
Oleander:
Isn't he the janitor?
Sheen:
Am I the only real man left?
Libby:
If by "man" you mean "doofus".
Calamitous:
My, aren't we the smart one. But not smart enough to fall into my... um... it starts with a T.
Jimmy:
Trap?
Calamitous:
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Yes! And now you will be my scientific slave. You will finish my... um... um...
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Jimmy:
Sentences?
Calamitous:
No! My, um...
Jimmy:
Inventions?
Calamitous:
Inventions! Finish my inventions. And with them I shall take over the... um...
Jimmy:
Universe?
Calamitous:
Um... smaller.
Jimmy:
The town of Retroville?
Calamitous:
And all those fools who laughed at me. They called me "Half-done" and "Never-finish", which weren't very good nicknames, but they stung just the same.
Jimmy:
Wait a minute. If you can't finish anything, how did you finish that robot?
Calamitous:
Who says it's finished. I never put in a bathroom. Speaking of which...
Edison:
[seeing the light bulb on Jimmy's lab] And where did you get that? Where I come from that's copyright infringement. Copyright infringement!
Jimmy:
[thinking that the junkman is coming back for them, he picks up a pipe for a weapon] I'm not going down without a fight.
[Brobot appears]
Brobot:
Hi, Jimmy!
Jimmy:
Brobot?
Sheen:
Let's hit him anyways. He's the one who got us into this mess.
Brobot:
Now will you help me find my parents?
Sheen:
Well Brobot, that would be the "right thing" to do, but the "smart thing" to do would be find Jimmy's rocket, go home, and CALL IT A DAY!
Sheen:
Medulla oblongata. I don't know what it means, but I love it.
[warrior voice]
Sheen:
Back, or I will slay you with my medulla oblongata!
Jimmy:
[on the phone] Cindy, whatcha doin?
Cindy:
Neutron! Well after we hang up I'll be getting an unlisted number!
Jimmy:
Okay, Sheen. All you have to do is press the buttons...
Sheen:
Got it!
Jimmy:
I'm not done. Press the buttons one at a time...
Sheen:
Got it!
Jimmy:
I'm not done! Press the buttons one at a time when they light up.
[Sheen says nothing]
Jimmy:
I'm done.
Sheen:
Got it!
Carl:
Hey Jimmy, I thought we weren't supposed to like girls.
Jimmy:
[Lovestruck] We don't. Betty is a woman.
Jimmy:
Don't couples usually go on second honeymoons?
Judy:
We had one of those, but thanks to a certain boy genius and his Forget-O-Blaster, we have lost all memory of it.
Jimmy:
Oh, yeah.
Judy:
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As well as the fifth year of our marriage.
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Hugh:
I wish I could remember that year. Do you think I had pie?
Cindy:
You turned your own grandmother into a baby?
Jimmy:
I have a loophole... I mean, explanation. It could have happened to anyone with a genius IQ and access to unstable chemicals.
[Jimmy has turned his grandmother into a baby]
Man:
Did that baby just talk?
Jimmy:
No, of course not. Everyone knows babies can't talk.
Grandma Neutron:
That's right, cause if we did, the Videotubbies would be cancelled so fast it would make their head aerials spin.
Carl:
[backstage, just before the curtain opens] Hey, Jimmy, I just found out that the play Macbeth has a curse and you're not supposed to say Macbeth cause if you say Macbeth bad things happen cause you said Macbeth and we've been saying Macbeth a lot and congratulations on getting the part of Macbeth.
[gasps in sudden realization]
Carl:
I said *Macbeth*!
Jimmy:
[Sheen is slicing up a recently defeated lima bean monster] Fortunately, as all bean farmers know, phaseolus lunatus perishes when exposed to dry air and overly-nitrogenous soil.
Carl:
But you hit it with a hammer.
Jimmy:
[Jimmy had to kiss Cindy to escape from Carl's dream] Uh, Carl, you won't tell anybody about that awful desperate thing I did to wake you up?
Carl:
Sure thing, Jimmy.
Cindy:
[barging into Jimmy's kitchen] Not even in *his* dreams, Neutron!
[slaps Jimmy]
Libby:
If you're asteroid inspectors, then let's see your badges!
[the aliens blast them with laser weapons]
Sheen:
Uh, Libby, I don't think they need no stinkin' badges.
Hugh:
I am Man, the pointy tip of the food chain! Gaze upon my opposable thumbs and tremble!
Sheen:
Why is this day unlike any other, you may ask? Because I brought a new Ultra-Lord action figure!
Cindy:
So? You always bring one of those, Ultra-Loser.
Sheen:
Mock if you must, O Maiden of Wrongness, for this is the Ultra-Lord Action Figure #3 with factory gender error.
Ultra-Lord:
[in girl voice] Like, will I wear this dress to the prom?
Carl:
This reminds me of the story of the boy who cried llama.
Sheen:
Wolf.
Carl:
[alarmed] Where?
Junkman:
Oh, Mommy. I could never put a price on you... so I sold you to the highest bidder.
Miss Fowl:
It has come to my attention that some of our candidates are guilty of bribery, blackmail and... murder!
[audience gasps]
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Miss Fowl
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:
Oh, sorry. Did I say murder? I meant operating a zeppelin on school grounds.
[Jimmy's pants disappear, leaving him in his underwear]
Cindy:
[laughing] I see London, I see France!
Carl:
You've got really good eyesight.
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