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[Brodie picks up a controller and continues a paused video game] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What are you doing? You promised me breakfast. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only the second period and I'm up 12 to Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

That's it. You're dead, mallrat. I'm gonna fuck you up beyond repair. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What... like the back of a Volkswagen? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Jay and Silent Bob are hiding from La Fours] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Is he gone? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Halfway to Buy Me Toys by now. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[they come out of hiding] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Man, that bastard's faster than Walt Flanagan's dog... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You have my Punisher War Journal #6, my copy of "Fletch" and the remote control to my TV. Now, I know it's going to be hard to give this stuff up because of it's sentimental attachment... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Sentimental attachment? Look, if I have any of that crap it's because you brought it over my house and left it there. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Okay, then let's talk about coming up with a schedule for visitation rights. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

For what? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

For the mall. I figure you can take the odd days, I'll take the even days and weekends. When there's any special feature like a sidewalk sale... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[interrupting] Brodie, Brodie... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

...or a boat show... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[interrupting] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

19f 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie! I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse", I said okay. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

fbd 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Grabs Brodie by the ear] But if you think I'm gonna suffer any of your shit with a smile now that we're broken up, you're in for some serious fucking disappointment. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

How do I do that? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gwen: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

How is it that you recall the most trivial events? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I'll never forget it. How many times do you get to see Smokey fuck the Bandit? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gwen: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Didn't I look just like Burt Reynolds? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie, T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Except for the moustache. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You're sure you saw her get on? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Maybe she was getting off... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Maybe he's calmed down, we'll talk about it reasonably. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Reasonably shmeasonably, you should go over there and give him shit. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

After all he's done to you, you should still kinda stick it to him. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

How do you propose I do that? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You stinkpalm him. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Stinkpalm? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You take your hand and stick it in your ass like this. You been walkin' all day and you're nervous, so no doubt you'll be sweaty as hell. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You should see yourself right now, a grown man with his hand down his pants. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Yeah i probably look like my old man. So you shake hands with the guy, "Hello Mr. Svenning how have you been?" 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Whats the point? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you want, it'll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They'll think he doesn't know how to wipe his ass properly. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Meanwhile you yourself are left with a hand that smells like shit. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brandi is the past my friend. You face forward, or you face the possibility of shock and damage. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Brodie gets knocked down by a metal beam] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Where the hell did that come from? What's going on here? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Looks like a stage is being erected. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What is this monstrosity? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Maybe it's for the Easter Bunny pictures. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Impossible, the Easter Bunny Court is down at the other end of the mall, it's been there since two days after Christmas. I want answers! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Bob Summers: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Our first suitor goes to Marymount College where he majors in economics. Say hi to Doug Paging! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

DO IT DOUG! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I took you shopping all the time! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

42 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Banging his hands against the elevator wall] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

fef 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You took me where you went shopping, you jerk! You think I care what store in that shitpit dirt mall has the latest godzilla bootlegs? Do you call eating pizza in the same dive pizzeria every night eating out? Do I give a shit what two comic labels are crossing over characters, Selling two editions of the book in varied-ink chromium covers? I'm a girl, damn it! I wanna do girly things! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brandi: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Suitor number 3, is your kiss like a soft breeze, a firm handshake or a jackhammer? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Definitely a jackhammer, I'm in there with some pressure and when I'm done, you're not the same as before. You're changed. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Where do you come up with this shit? That's the cheesiest response to an honest question I have ever heard. I saw you kiss and it wasn't anything like that. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Bob Summers: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Chuckling] Suitor #2, you'll have to wait until you're addressed before you respond. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Richard Dawson, why don't you just go back to your podium until it's time to play The Feud. All right? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Audience laughs] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Who the hell did you see me kiss? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Some dude backstage. I don't know who he was but he seemed unimpressed. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I didn't kiss any guy backstage. I swear. I'm not gay. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Hey, Suitorette, this guys a homophobe. You heard how repulsed he sounded. Is this the kind of guy you want to spend a vacation with? This hate-monger? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I don't hate gay people. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

So you love them? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Yes. I mean no. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Textbook closet case self-loather. Can't be comfortable with his own sexuality. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[to T.S] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You're gonna listen to me? To something I said? Hasn't it become abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

No, why do you ask? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I never farted in front of Renee. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Renee's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

She was going down on me at the time. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Retches] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What can I say, I was feeling relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

If all she did was dump you, you got off light. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Where do you get these wonderful toys? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[c.f. Batman (1989)] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Silent Bob: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Adventure, excitement... a Jedi craves not these things. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[c.f. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

25 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

ff2 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I would've made a sexy chick. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

My Grandmother always used to say "why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free". 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

She said that? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

All the time, before she became a lesbian on her 60th Birthday, but that's besides the point. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

The usual vault rules apply: Touch not, lest ye be touched. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You're such an anal retentive bastard. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Hey, I tried to teach you how to handle comics in the sixth grade, but oh no. You wanted to play little league. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

But they're engaged. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Doesn't matter, can't happen. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Why not? It's bound to come up. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Sure, why not? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

How is it that I go from the verge of hot Floridian sex with Brandi to man of steel coital debates with you in the food court? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Cookie stand isn't part of the food court. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Of course it is. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

The food court is downstairs. The cookie stand is upstairs. It not like we're talking quantum physics here. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

The cookie stands counts as an eatery, eateries are part of the food court. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Bullshit. Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs count as food court. Anything outside, of said designated sqaure, counts as an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking. Now, if your going to wax intellectual about the subject... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[At a Dating Game-like game show] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brandi: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Second suitor: if we were making whoopee, what sounds would you make? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Wait, what's whoopee? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brandi: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You know, being intimate. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What? Like fucking? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Silent Bob stole the schematics from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness just like the fucking Death Star. You knock this crossbeam out and, fuckin' bickety-bam, the whole stage comes crashing down. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Well we were thinking of something simple, but hey, if you want to destroy the stage, we're all for that. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[first lines] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

25 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Brodie's voice] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

feb 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brandi: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Second suitor, would you ever make whoopie in public? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I already did once today. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[clicks his finger at Renee] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, *Snap* the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Well, did he cum, or what? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jesus Christ, man. There's just some things you don't talk about in public. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You wanna say something? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Yeah. About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand it all. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[subtitle, "William eventually saw the sailboat."] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Willam Black: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Yeah? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You've probably had a slew of women since her, am I right? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Stan Lee: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Oh, lots of women. Jagger and me, we had a running contest to see who had the most. In fact, last time I checked I was way ahead. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

DAMN that's hot! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What you need is a fatty-boom-batty blunt, and I guarantee you'll be seeing a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe even some of those big-titted mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit. Look at me, look at me, you sloppy bitch! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I love the smell of commerce in the morning. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brandi: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Suitor Number Three, what would our first date be like? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Well, uh, first I'd take you shopping to stores you wanna shop in, and then we'd do a little lunch, probably at the Cheese Haus, followed by some golfing. And then at night, we'd take in an opera, probably Die Fledermaus, and then I'd follow it up with a drive to a secluded beach where I'd pop on the radio and we could slow-dance till the sun came up. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

That was the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. I mean, look at you. You're the kind of guy who would beg for sex. And I should know, we can smell our own. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

3e 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

How easily do you quit? Say you wind up with one of us? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

fe6 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Hopefully not Rush Limbaugh over here. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gil Hicks: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Well, now, I'm not like Rush Limbaugh. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Well, why not? Because he's fat? Now you have something against fat people, too? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Brodie introduces Tricia to T.S] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint, meet Tricia Jones. They call her Trish "the dish". 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Tricia Jones: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Nobody calls me that. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[after hitting La Fours over the head with a baseball bat] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Come to me, son of Jor-El. Kneel before Zod. Snootchie-bootchies. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[as Silent Bob is 'flying' across the mall towards the stage] Fly, Fatass, fly. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Little Girl: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[looking at a Magic Eye poster] Wow. It's a schooner. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Willam Black: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Little Boy: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

A schooner IS a sailboat stupid head. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Willam Black: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[becoming enraged] You know what. There is NO Easter Bunny. Over there, that's just a guy in a suit. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Willam Black: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brenda? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[hitting him] DICK. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Brodie Bruce speaking of T.S. and Brandi's love] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You two are retarded for each other. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Look, if I had any kind of glow it's because I just got laid. I would look the same had I banged anyone in that elevator... present company excluded. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Deny it all you want. I think that you're too proud to admit that you want her back. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I suddenly want something very bad to happen to you. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[TS elbows Gwen in the chest, she hits him in the groin] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

See, that's what you get for fucking with me. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows, like 'BJ and the Bear.' Now there's a concept I can't get enough of, a man and his monkey. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Stan Lee: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You know, I think you ought to get him some help. He seems to be really hung up on super heroes' sex organs. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You should see yourself right now - a grown man with his hand down his pants. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Yeah, I probably look like my old man. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Silent Bob here's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit.The mother fucker's like MacGyver. No, the mother fucker's *better than* MacGyver. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda's gross-out mother after she called him "low class". 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

22 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

That wasn't me. It was you. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

ff6 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Oh, yeah. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

No wonder the bitch went down so fast. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Jay is reading a Hustler. He shows a spread to Silent Bob] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Dude, this one looks like your mom. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Silent Bob nods] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Jay explains the details of Operation Drive By to Silent Bob] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of quarters. I'd do it, but I pulled my back at humping your mom last night. Neetch. Okay, you clock him on his headpiece and knock his ass out cold. That's when phase two kicks in. I attack the structure Wolvie Berzerk style, and knock out the fuckin' pin and bickety bam, the motherfucker is rubble. Hence, no game show. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jesus, how much did you smoke? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

All it took was a phat, chronic blunt. These guys were lightweights. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

How much do I owe you? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

My treat. As long as you promise that the next time you pop your old lady, you make her call you "Jay." Snootchie Bootchies. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Let's hope there is a next time. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Dude, you the mad chick magnet. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Hey, look at that ring. What is that? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jared Svenning: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

That is, um, my Junior College class ring. Cum Laude, ' 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I also hope to cum loud one day, preferably in a 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

There is something out there that can help us ease our simultanious double loss. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What? Ritual suicide? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

No, you idiot, the fucking mall! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I'd prefer ritual suicide. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Oh come on man it'll be great. They have these new cookies at the cookie stand, you have to try 'em. They're awesome. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[the videotape of Shannon back-dooring Trica is playing on the big screen, with cheesy 70s porno music in background] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Yeah, who's your favourite New Kid. Yeah, call me Joey. Oh, come on. Don't make me get loose. Yeah, that's right. Call me Donnie. Oh, girl. Oh, please don't go girl. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Goddamn. This is one wacky game show. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[to the cops] Hey! That girl's only 15! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[cops focus their attention on Shannon] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Ah, I thought she was 36! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[cops are approaching him] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Come on, guys. Tell me you wouldn't have popped her. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Brodie is trying to get into the comic book store] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Hey, what's going on in there? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Steve-Dave Pulasti: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I was warned about you. Take it easy before I have you removed from the mall. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

33 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Warned? What the fuck are you talking about? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

fba 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Walt "Fanboy" Grover: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Tell him, Steve-Dave. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Fuck you, Fanboy. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[breaking up the fight] Can you two testosterone-seething, he-man, comic book fans finish up with this display of tough guy back-and-forth? I have some questions that need answering. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Jay explains the details of Operation Dark Knight to Silent Bob] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Okay Lunchbox, let's try this again. We tie you to the roof and you jump off and sail like a Spitfire passing right over the arch nemesis La Fours. You then swing up to the stage and knock out the pin. And when that's gone the stage is trashed and we go smoke a bowl. You got it? Now get your fat ass up there. And dude, don't forget your helmet. Snoogens. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I was going to propose to her. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Where? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

The Universal Tour. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You're kidding. What part? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

When Jaws popped out of the water. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Too bad I'm not trying to marry you. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Tricia Jones: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park. When are men going to learn that women want ROMANCE, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Hey, now, be fair. EVERYONE wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass - or sticking my hand in it. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[about the break-up letter from Renee] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Yeah, and she also said I had no dick. Which precedes the financial question, proving once more what women really look for. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Silent Bob is trying to levitate a cigarette] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What's he doing? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week and ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy fuck thinks he can levitate shit with his thoughts. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[slaps the cigarette out of Silent Bob's hand] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Knock it off. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[to Silent Bob] The force is strong with this one. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Dude, don't encourage him. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Smart-ass ex-boyfriend! I've got two things to tell you. One: I don't like you. I see you every week in this mall. I don't like you shiftless layabouts. You're one of those fucking mallrat kids. You don't come to the mall to shop or work. You hang out and act like you fucking live here. Well, I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Is this what's known as motivated salesmanship? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Shannon Hamilton beats up Brodie] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene told me to leave you alone, but she's fucking clueless. The newly single always feel a bit protective of the ex-boyfriend. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

49 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

If this is her idea of protective, I'd hate to have her mad at me. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

ffb 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You see, Bruce, I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship. They're much more in need of solace and they're fairly open to suggestion. And, I use that to fuck them some place very uncomfortable. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What, like the back of a Volkswagen? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

No. More like someplace girls dread. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Brodie tries to take a poke at Shannon, Shannons gives him another beat-down] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I got to hit the bathroom. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

PLEASE. Don't say "hit". 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[about the indoor flea market] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Come on, this is the dirt mall. Cops don't come here. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Neither does any self-respecting consumer. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Ivannah: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Free your minds. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I'd like to free something... 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Haven't you ever heard the phrase "The customer is always right?" 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Let me tell you something. Let me give you a little secret, okay. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[yells it right in T.S.' ear] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

The customer is always an asshole! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You're fucking kidding me! The Easter bunny did this? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

All I said was that the Easter bunny at the Menlo Park mall was more convincing and he just jumped the railing and knocked me down. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

He's fucking dead! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Oh let it go, he's under a lot of pressure. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[T.S. and Gwen approach them] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What the hell happened? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

The guy in the Easter bunny suit kicked his ass. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I had it coming. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[to Silent Bob] Fuck all that shit. Come on, Silent Bob. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Jay and Silent Bob leave] 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What really happened? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

The proprietor of Fashionable Male beat a raincheck into my stomach. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gwen: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Shannon Hamilton? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You know that guy? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Gwen: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I went out with him once after we dated. He tried to screw me some place very uncomfortable. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What? Like the back of a Volkswagen? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Sounds like his M.O. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[referring to the tape of Shannon having anal sex with Trish] Did you see that shit? You call that romance? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I call that illegal. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[to Jay and Silent Bob] You two up for getting stoned? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Look who you're asking! 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

< 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

f91 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

a name="qt0202495"> 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Rene: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[about why she cries in the bathroom] Do you really wanna know? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

I asked, didn't I? I'm playing the role of concerned guy. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Ivannah: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Fucussa. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

That's what I was thinking. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

She said 'focus'. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Whatever. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You know about this game show they got goin' on here? We need you guys to somehow ensure that it doesn't happen. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Is that it? We were gonna do that anyway. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Really? Why? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Jay: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What else are we gonna do? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Stan Lee: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

They look happy, don't they? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

What, the bras? 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

[Reading the break-up letter that Renee gave Brodie] Woah, she calls you "callow" in here. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

You say that like it's bad. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

T.S. Quint: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

It means frightened and weak-willed. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Brodie: 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

Really? Shit. That was the only part of the letter I thought was complimentary. 復制復制成功復制失敗，請手動復制

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耍酷一族 (1995)

演職人員(116)

凱文·史密斯

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杰瑞米·倫敦

杰森·李

克萊爾·弗蘭妮

本·阿弗萊克

喬伊·勞倫·亞當斯

Renée Humphrey

杰森·繆斯

伊桑·蘇普利

斯坦·李

普瑞斯西拉·巴恩斯

邁克爾·魯克

Carol Banker

Steven Blackwell

Kyle Boe

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