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Gabrielle, Mark's girlfriend:
Be still, my heart.
J.T:
Be still, my lunch.
J.T:
Dad, if you're watching "Baywatch" with your wife, you know nothing about marriage.
Carol Foster Lambert:
Frank, don't you want another child?
Frank Lambert:
Carol, I don't want more, I want less. I'd trade two of them in for golf clubs.
Al Lambert:
Who's she?
Mark Foster:
Only the hottest chick in the eighth grade.
Al Lambert:
Then why on earth would she want to go out with a geek like you?
Al Lambert:
Lay off Lambert.
Cody Lambert:
Guess between the known and the unknown lies the Codeman.
Cody Lambert:
Look, it's the Dana-burger with cheese!
Cody Lambert:
Dude!
Cody Lambert:
Whoa, it's like my brain has a mind of its own!
Cody Lambert:
Woah! A Canadian penny! Now I can buy bubble gum! That is, if I go to Canadia.
Jean-Luc:
What do you think?
Carol Foster Lambert:
I think you look like Barbara Eden from "I Dream Of Jeannie".
Jean-Luc:
Well, I think you look like Crissy from "Three's Company"!
[Most of the family is sick]
Frank Lambert:
Cody, where's J.T?
Cody Lambert:
He's in the bathroom tossing his cookies. He's doing the technicolor yawn! He's driving the porcelain bus! He's calling RALPH on the big white phone. I tell you, this family's having a major hurl-fest!
Steve Urkel:
Hi Al. I heard about you and Roger. You know, you shouldn't let it bother you.
Al Lambert:
Here we go again. I am sick of getting advice about being dumped from people who have never been dumped.
Steve Urkel:
[long pause] Are you kidding? Why, being dumped is my career! If there was a 'Being Dumped' Hall of Fame, I'd be elected on the first ballot.
Karen Foster:
Mom I know you think of Al as a family member but I don't.
J.T:
This stinks. In twenty years, I'm not gonna need algebra!
Frank Lambert:
You will if you're still in high school.
J.T:
Think about it, if you were dead then we couldn't see you.
Frank Lambert:
[sit on the armchair, making crosswords] A city from Texas, 6 letters ?
Carol Foster Lambert:
Well, Frank, D-A-L-L-A-S !
Cody Lambert:
[Cody enters the room wearing his pajamas and a night cap] Impending doom!
Cody Lambert:
Ya buddy.
Dana Foster:
Lose the Elton John shoes
Rich Halke:
But they're really working for me
Dana Foster:
No they're really, really not.
Rich Halke:
You came barging through that door like the chick from Fatal Attraction.
Cody Lambert:
Hey, the Codeman's back. Meat loaf, all right. You were having meat loaf when I left.
[repeated line]
Jean-Luc:
That come out wrong.
Frank Lambert:
[about Carol bringing Jean-luc home] You brought me a french man?
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