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The Creature Wasn't Nice
(1998)
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Annie McHugh:
Dr. Stark, I sense something is troubling you.
Dr. Stark:
Troubling is not the exact word I would use. Amazed, incredulous, mind-boggled... any of those words would be appropriate.
Captain Jamieson:
Max, what course are we on?
Max the Computer:
It's a far out course, Captain, deep into the cosmos and heading into infinity. Hey, I like that!
Captain Jamieson:
Why on Earth did they ever make these abusive and emotionally unstable computers?
Annie McHugh:
Remember, a major part of our training was to remain asexual.
Rodzinski:
I am asexual: a sexual fiend!
Annie McHugh:
If I were attacked by a pack of wild subterranean bush pigs and you possessed the only bush pig blaster in the universe, I would not want your company!
Annie McHugh:
Let's just hope that Dr. Stark is in a better world.
Rodzinski:
He's in that thing's stomach is where he is!
Max:
Goooood morning! It's a bright new day aboard the good ship Vertigo! The time is 8:30 in the a.m. The weather outside is a brisk 200 degrees below zero.
The Creature:
[singing] I want to eat your face. It could just be so yummy. I'd like to have your face, in my tummy.
The Creature:
[singing] I want to eat your smile. / Your smile is so beguiling. / If I could eat your smile, / I'd be smiling.
The Creature:
[singing] I want to eat your knees! / Oh they would really please me. / So let me eat those knees, /Don't you tease me!
Captain Jamieson:
Max, can you pinpoint this thing precisely for us?
Max:
Not a chance.
Captain Jamieson:
Max, don't be a stiff! Now, are there foreign bodies on this spacecraft?
Max:
Well, let me see...
[the Creature appears on a monitor]
Max:
There he is! Ugly, isn't he?
Annie McHugh:
Max, I need you to do me a favor.
Max:
Max has the facts!
Annie McHugh:
Come on, Max, this is no time for you to be a little snot. We're going to need your help.
Max:
You want the facts? Just ask Max!
Dr. Stark:
It doesn't want to be called a creature. It's a living organism.
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