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Sally:
He's got more humor in his little pinky than you have in your whole pinky.
Sally:
Turk, did you come?
Newbomb Turk:
A little.
Sally:
What do you mean a little? Either you came or you didn't.
Newbomb Turk:
I came.
Sally:
Oh my God, I can't believe you came. You are so immature.
Officer Clark:
Don't you think I'd look good in a moustache?
Bimbeau:
You'd be perfect. You'd be a perfect horse's ass.
Newbomb Turk:
[Wearing a wolf mask] Hey, Red Riding Hood, wanna be eaten by the Big, Bad Wolf?
Red Riding Hood:
Fuck you Newbomb.
Bimbeau:
Lemme tell you buttholes somethin'! This shit's wwaaayyyyy outta line! And you squirrels better have some nuts in your mouth... or you're goin' downtown!
Bimbeau:
[after tasting the punch, which the Knights have urinated in] It does have a little wang to it. Good, though.
Newbomb Turk:
Did you ever hear the joke about the man with five penises? His pants fit like a glove.
[repeated line to a little boy]
Bimbeau:
You little son of a bitch!
[Sally's friends are topless sunbathing by the pool]
Sally:
I don't know why you're doing that. The last time I did that my tits peeled so much I went from a B cup to an A.
Dudley:
Don't hurt me! I think I may be a bleeder!
Mrs. Freidman:
I've had this taste in my mouth before.
Smitty:
Everything changes, you know that. Nothing stays the same.
Sally:
I mean, I don't know what it's gonna be. Soon I'll be going away to college and I'll probably never see you again.
Newbomb Turk:
You're going to UCLA.
[Dudley is calling his mother from Tubby's]
Dudley:
Mother?
Dudley's Mother:
Dudley?
Dudley:
Mother, I am calling you to tell you I will be out rather late tonight. In point of fact, I might not be in at all.
Dudley's Mother:
You're not in bed, dear?
Dudley:
Mother, I have a assignation with a young lady. I am going to explore the boundaries of my manhood. Mother, I am going to get laid.
Dudley's Mother:
You're going to be late, dear?
Dudley:
Not late, mother, laid; the past participle of the verb 'to lay'. Mother, I am going to screw someone.
Dudley's Mother:
Oh!
[faints]
Dudley:
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Now, I just have to figure out how.
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f98
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Bimbeau:
You know what I'd like to do to you, Newbomb? I'd like to kick the crap out of you!
Suzie Q:
How about a kiss?
Duke:
Sure, those never cost anything.
Suzie Q:
Yes they did. I got used to them.
Brenda Weintraub:
[Tape played over the PA system at the dance] Did you hear about Jean Freidman? I heard she had an abortion in Tijuana.
Shirley Weintraub:
That's doesn't surprise me. I heard she gave half the football team the clap.
[chuckles]
Shirley Weintraub:
They sure played like they still had it last week.
Newbomb Turk:
That was the 'Ironbox' Twins, Brenda and Shirley Weintraub, coming to you live from the ladies' room at Tubby's Drive-In.
Mrs. Freidman:
[Speaking to a crowd of investors in her living room] Starting tomorrow, today is history...
Bimbeau:
[Overheard speaking to Officer Clark from the kitchen] HORSESHIT!
Mrs. Freidman:
Um, Nevans, there seems to be some sort of disturbance in the kitchen.
Nevans:
Um, yes, those are members of the Hollywood Police Dept.
Mrs. Freidman:
Oh, well... go take care of it.
Bimbeau:
[heard from the kitchen, screaming at Officer Clark] BULLSHIT!
Nevans:
I'll go see if I can't get those boys to calm down.
Bimbeau:
[singing to the theme of Lawrence of Arabia] Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia. He was an English Guy. He came to fight the Turkish.
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